I recently told someone that I don’t write on my bad days.  Looking back over my blog, I realized that I do write occasionally on the bad days I just don’t explain what is going on.

So, I’m having a few bad days.

The reasons are many and varied.  I’m having trouble sleeping which makes me tired which agitates my symptoms.  I’m sick of the financial problems I’ve had for the past year and even though I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel I’M SICK OF BEING BROKE ALL THE TIME!  I cannot seem to shake this head cold that I have had for three weeks.  I’m cranky and short tempered all the time.  I snap at my husband and mom all of the time.  I want someone else to be responsible for a while, to take care of dinner and cleaning the house and laundry and grocery shopping and holiday arrangements while I go away and lay on a beach with a pile of books for a while.

The thing is, I would imagine that most people have days or weeks just like this.  The difference for me is these normal life frustrations build up on top of the reality of living with Parkinson’s.  I told my friend that “I tend to not post at all on bad days and avoid telling the uglier truths about how HARD everything is. Simple things that, four or five years ago I didn’t even think about when I did them now take major concentration and effort. Nothing is ever easy anymore. I am beginning to forget what easy feels like.”

I’ll get over it.  I’m not a glass-half-empty person.  The weather is supposed to be sunny and warm all weekend and there is baseball and hockey to watch.  I might sit outside and listen to music.  Maybe I’ll grill something and buy some wine.

But I guess I should clean the house and start some laundry first…